Ei hakutuloksia.

Text Deniz Duman

How to avoid break-up

It all starts with butterflies in the stomach and idealizing the other person’s positive sides. But no relationship is perfect. Before everything goes wrong, there are many ways to improve your relationship.

Most romantic relationships begin with euphoric feelings; they make us exaggerate the good parts of the person we like. Then we show tenderness and get closer through loving behavior. If a special bond is created in this period, then most possibly we are in a relationship with butterflies in our stomach!

Sexual intercourse in the first two years of relationships keeps butterflies in the stomach. But especially after the second year, some problems might occur in couple dynamics. Did you know that those changes predict 90 percent of divorces, and paying attention to the signs of uncoupling could help you save your relationship!

There are  four signs that are associated with break-ups.

Disagreements start; we find a fault with our partner’s general attitude and personality through? specific discussions.

In those discussions, which become more frequent, we mostly  take a defensive or an innocent victim’s position.

The loving and tender behavior that we have shown is replaced with superior attitudes, sarcasm, insult and negative arousal. The butterflies have possibly flown to warmer countries!

After having negative attitudes in relationships, men usually withdraw from emotional interaction and act in an inactive-defensive way in discussions, whereas the other partner might have a more demanding role; angry, accusing and pressuring the partner with emotional complaints.

The break-up process starts with private doubts. Commitment to the relationship fluctuates and doubts evolve to indirect expression of unhappiness.

At this stage you probably cannot make sense of why your partner is dissatisfied; turned outwards, searching for new friends and hobbies.

Then your mutual similarities lessen. Later, the break-up-initiating partner reconsiders the history of your relationship and mostly remembers unpleasant moments. Rewritten memories might also be expressed publicly which can sometimes be disrespectful and, be careful, this might be a turning point for your relationship.

Your partner might start to explore single life with the help of new single friends. In this phase, it is no surprise to hear some excuses for not having mutual and long-term plans.

Finally all those changes make you aware that there is something wrong with your relationship.

You might want to fix the problems while your break-up-initiating partner wants to come to an end by giving false popular hope, such as “I have my own issues to solve and need time to think, all by myself!”

Eventually you might find yourself single again!

But before everything goes wrong, here are seven tips to improve your relationship.

You should solve conflicts constructively. For example, you can signal understanding of your partner’s standing point, show verbal and physical affection, display humor and try to see the problem as if you were not a part of the relationship, from a third person observer’s perspective.

Sleep well! Poor sleep is associated with higher conflict rate, less positive emotions and empathy.

Express your appreciation of and gratitude to your partner to increase your satisfaction in your relationship.

Listen your partner and respond with enthusiasm and in a responsive manner to good news.

Instead of trying to change your partner towards your own ideal, try to help your partner achieve their ideals.

Do not forget to engage in new and challenging activities as a couple.

Finally, try to remind yourself of five things you like about your partner for each negative thing.

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